Tuesday, September 9, 2008
My Story- 100th post
This my 100th post. Wow! I wanted to say Thank You to all of you. Those who leave wonderful comments full of love, kindness, warmth and fun; and, all my silent readers who rather just read than comment. I still feel your love as well.
Swanofdreamers was born out of my personal chaos. I just broken up with my fiancee, Anakin, (that is not his real name but what I call him sometimes). Yes, he did sometimes call me Padme. :) After the breakup, a tidal wave of creativity poured out for both of us. A tremendous amount of energy was spent on trying to make our relationship work. Energy that was needed elsewhere in both of our lives. I was at the point that it was hard for me to go audition or send out my headshots for acting work. This isn't Anakin's fault or mine, it just happened.
Once Anakin and I parted, our creative lives blossomed. This isn't to say there wasn't broken hearts or tears. Of course, there was. Sometimes the best choices for us is the hardest to do. Swanofdreamers became my refuge from all the drama and hurt in my personal life. With each new post, my life started to flower again. I see clearly that the output of creativity is linked to our lives. If your feeling like you can't create, blocked or have no courage to do the next step. Just look at what's going on in your life. Because if we are unhappy or sad in our personal lives it is going to be challenging to go audition, paint your sketch, bake a new recipe or write lyrics for your music.
I've learned to be more balanced in my life. To keep my creative energy flowing. To not sacrifice my personal energy on situations or people that I need to let go of. Anakin and I are still good friends now. That is a testament to our bond. There are times when the past rises up and I'm sad for what is lost. I remind myself of all the wonderful things I have gained. I have this place I carved out where I can share my creative life with all of you out there. In turn, you have all shared your creative lives with me. I am grateful for that honor. I say Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
PS. I sometimes forget not everyone is a Star Wars fan like me. Anakin and Padme are the lovers from the Star Wars prequels (Episodes 1-3).