Monday, September 29, 2008

Big Dream





I have to be honest. I have been getting my ass beat. Yes, I know it's Mercury Retrograde. I'm getting fed up, folks!! Today, I got a e-mail about a independent film that I had got a callback for. I didn't get part. I know an actor's life is 85% rejection. I'm not kidding. Somedays, I can laugh it off. The laughs are few and far between.I keep going because I'm stubborn and I cling to the belief these setbacks are just temporary.

Now, you notice the picture of the ladies up there. I call them The Seven. They are part of an exclusive club. They all have been nominated for an Academy Award for an actress in a leading role. Halle being the first to win. I started watching The Oscars when I was 11. From that point on, I had a dream that one day I be there and be first African American actress to win the award. Of course, Halle beat me too it!! So I'm shooting to be the second African American actress to win.

That is my big dream. The ultimate goal for me. I think you need a big dream withing your regular dream to use as a guiding star. Even with all the rejection and feeling weary I keep going because My big dream comforts me in hard times. What are the odds of me actually being an Academy Award winner for lead actress? Han Solo said it best when he told C3P0 in The Empire Strikes Back: "Never tell me the odds."

The seven:
Dorothy Dandrige: nominated from Carmen Jones (1954)
Diana Ross: nominated from Lady Sings The Blues (1972)
Cicely Tyson: nominated from Sounder (1972)
Diahann Carroll: nominated from Claudine (1974)
Whoopi Goldberg: nominated from The Color Purple (1985)
Angela Bassett: nominated from What's Love Got To Do With It? (1993)
Halle Berry: winner from Monster's Ball (2001)

13 comments:

Judy Hartman said...

Shell, I just went back and caught up with your blog. I think you are terrific for being so persistent about your dream. There are so many stories out there about people who have broken through to their dream just as they were about to give up. Your pictures of these talented ladies are like a vision board, and I hope and pray that you attain your dreams. You seem like a smart, compassionate person and that has to come through in your work!!!

maritessb said...

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I feel you.. dreams just make you want to give up sometimes. It's hard especially when you feel you're the only one who believes in yourself. And eventually the wear and tear takes it toll and the devils tries to make you give up. Please don't. You are one of the few I know that has as much heart into their dreams. Do no fall into the statitics. You are wonderful.. keep believing and that. I will see you one day winning that Oscar.

Joelle said...

Beautiful! All 8 of you!!!
If You can dream it ~ YOU can do it!!!
YOU just have to go get it & keep trying. its not about how many times you TRY its how you did it & wanted it & got it!
1,0000 doors in 500 days. so what. you did it. 501 could be the door, THE DOOR. THE DAY! who knows.... however many door in one day...maybe next week. but regardless the #.. Its the want & passion & it is just how it has to be for YOU!It is what YOUR about. So follow your dreams. Its a journey already waiting to happen.Just take the steps everyday to improve or learn something new & fresh. you'll get there. your LEARNING EVERY SINGLE DAY! take advantage of it, do not disapoint. (ok... we all want it NOW, but there is a reason for your steps, take advantage of the days! & enjoy, im sure we all will benefit from it)
ok... just trying to think positive, i know it stinks to not get it NOW, but we have to think positive or it WILL get you down..... can't let that happen. it will set you back so USE IT< & embrace every extra day to GROW & BLOSSOM!!!! use it to YOUR advantage over your cometition!!!
THINK Positive!
XOXOXO
Joelle

Shell said...

Judy, Maritessb and Joelle, a big hug to all of you for your good thoughts and positivity for me. I feel it so much. Makes me happy. Gives me needed energy.

kim said...

Visiting via Suzie's Sacred Space! Hi

Sacred Suzie said...

I can not imagine living through that rejection over and over like that. It takes a very strong and special spirit to be able to put herself out there like that and have your dreams tested. I guess that way when success comes, it will be even sweeter but wow, that's still so hard. It just proves how amazing you are that you don't give up!

Lady Prism said...

Just a minor setback...minor...a bigger more fantastic project is coming to you!! I can see it!!

I think you are so cool and so just brave and such an inspiration! You can't be anything but a star!!

huuugzzzzzz!!!!

Evi said...

Stick to your dream...Chin up!

Thanks so much for stopping in at my blog through BATW...it was nice to have so many new people stop in for a visit.

Jennifer said...

You've got a lovely blog here and keep reaching for your dreams.
Thanks for visiting Canada. Enjoy your week and I'll be cheering for you on that special night.

Joyfulsister said...

Aloha shell,
Thank you for being a part of my BATW Hawaiian style Tour *smile*. It's is a blessing to meet new friends and share the spirit of Aloha with them. I have a 26 year daughter named Shelly, and by reading your post and profile about you I don't know if it's the name, but you both have that spirit of going after what your heart desires and not giving up. I pray for her each day, I have had to let her spread her wings and going from Hawaii to the Bay area really concerned me as a Mom. But she is so determined to make it on her own and has faced some struggles that made me want to go up there and drag her back home. But I would have enabled her from her independence and strength so I just leave her in God's hands, that she will make wise decisions. I just want to tell you this...

When one door closes it's only because God has a bigger one ahead for you to open. Keep the faith, and always remember The best is yet to come. BTW Those beautiful women on the top are my favorites as well.

Aloha Hugz Lorie

mermaid musings said...

You will be there and then it will be the 8's
hugs!

Deb Burton said...

Those are some big stars up there. Don't only keep dreaming, keep working. Keep pursuing what it is that means so much to you and that you think God has designed you for. Those women you are trying to emulate had to overcome incredible odds through sheer hard work and bulldoggedness in their pursuit. Keep going, keep going, keep going! :-)

Keith said...

I love and admire all of those talented women. It's a shame it took so many years for an African-American to finally win Best Actress. Congrats to Halle. I was so proud and happy for her.

Good luck with your career. I wish you the best. I'm sure it is hard. I don't think I could handle the rejection, etc. Kudos to you for being so persistent and sticking with it. If it's your dream, then don't let anything stand in your way. If you fall down, then get up and dust yourself off.