Cranky to Fun

I have been cranky all day. I even took a nap to ease some it. It did somewhat.I am doing my best to be gentle with myself. Let's have some fun, shall we.

Here are five more facts about Shell.

1)I love sunsets.

2)I love Red Dresses (I need to get a new one for myself.)

3)One of my favorite books when I was little is Richard Scarry's books. I still have one after all these years.

4)I love the show: Myles of Style on HGTV

5)One of my life goals is living a month in Paris.


I don't know how many know about Starz Bunnies. They do 30 second version of movies using animated bunnies. It is hilarious. So go and check it out.

Everyone have a good Friday. See you back here tomorrow. Sweet dreams to you all.

Creativity saves

I keep hearing my friend Sean in my ear go "Michie, you need to get your butt in gear. I may be dead. But your not." He always called me Michie. His voice is just as bossy as ever. So I know the best way to honor my Sean is for me to live.

I have to be honest this is so hard. I've lost family members close to me. Their deaths hurt me. This is different. I've never lost really any of my closest friends. Someone who I dreamed with and made plans to do all these adventures. Now, I am left to carry on, alone.

I have been in a creative frenzy. Yes, I said frenzy. I am an emotional eater. I have been feeling the urge to eat mass quantities of cupcakes, pizza, chips. (You can insert in any of your favorite foods here.) Seriously, that won't help my grief. It will cause more problems. Instead of eating, I turned to being creative.I have been sewing, scanning, writing, collaging. Pouring myself creatively into anything that soothes me. Creativity can save your life.

So you want to see what I have been doing?

I made this pillow on my birthday. I hand stitched it and in the back used buttons to close it.


This pillow I made yesterday using the little sewing machine my friend, Anakin gave me.


This my very first Jeans bag I made on Monday. I stayed up late trying to do this. Not bad for a first effort. I want to get a bedazzler so I can put all kinds of glittery things on it. I wore it out today and felt very cool.


This is the cover of what I'm calling my dreambook. It has my list of goals I want to accomplish in 2009. I originally had my list in a plain bigger notebook, I said I need to make it pretty. I took this smaller notebook and went collage mad. Put my goals in here.


This is the inside of the cover of my Dreambook.


Now, I didn't make this! This is my tuxedo cat, Mabel. She is so not into me taking pictures of her. I tell her I want everyone to see what a beautiful cat I have. As you can see, Mabel is not amused.


Swanofdreamers was quiet for a while, I have to continue on. This place is my haven. Being here and sharing my adventures with all of you will help me to heal. I'll be back tomorrow.

Sweet dreams to you all.

Quiet

"Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion."- Dylan Thomas

Thank you all for your love and kindness over my friend Sean's death. I thought I was up to blogging today. But I can't. I'll be hopping over to all your blogs. For now Swanofdreamers has to be silent for a while. I will be back soon.

Remembering Sean

There was a boy named Sean that I loved. He had sea green eyes and long dark blonde hair. We came from different backgrounds. He was a white boy from Canada and I was a black girl from The Bronx. A shared love of Star Wars brought us together. At 15 and 16 we pledged to be forever friends. We dreamed of setting the world on fire with our shared talents of acting, music and writing.

Some dreams don't come true as much as you want them too. Last night I got horrible news that my Sean had died of an overdose of drugs. Today is my birthday. And my beautiful Sean is gone. There are no words to describe how I feel right now. The last time we talked was a month ago. A month ago!!! Now, he's gone.

If there are people in your life who you haven't talked to, call or write them. Tell them again you love them. Life is precious.

This song is for you, Sean. I will never forget you. I will remember you forever.




Lyrics for Remember:

Remember, I will still be here,
As long as you hold me, in your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended,
Time can be transcended,
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly,
It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun

I'm with you,
Whenever you tell,
My story,
For I am all I've done

Remember, I will still be here,
As long as you hold me, in your memory,
Remember me

I am that one voice, in the cold wind,
That whispers,
And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky

As long as,
I still can reach out, and touch you,
Then I will never die

Remember, I'll never leave you,
If you will only,
Remember me

Remember me...

Remember, I will still be here,
As long as you hold me,
In your memory

Remember,
When your dreams have ended,
Time can be transcended,
I live forever,
Remember me

Remember me,
Remember... me...

Thursday Happenings

Congrats to Viola Davis and Taraji P. Henson for their Oscar nominations today. Way to go, ladies!! Also, happy to see Meryl Streep get hers for Doubt. I haven't seen a lot of the movies nominated. Hopefully, before Oscar night I'll see at least half.

Have you all noticed the days are getting longer now? Yesterday, I believe the sun stayed till 5:30 pm. I recently got inspired to make my own paper dolls after Sarah who sent me lovely paper dolls she created. I did create one, but I didn't have the right pins to keep my doll together so she could move. Maybe when I go downtown on Saturday, I may be able to find some. As soon as I make some, I'll be sure to post it for all to see.

Look out, next week for another audio poetry post. I'll be reading the poetry of Phillis Wheatley and other poets on that one. After that post, I'll switch to reading passages from Jack Kerouac. I just got On The Road from the library and will start reading it tonight. So good stuff from me to all of you coming very soon.

Now, I'm going to bask in the sunlight through my window. Sweet dreams everyone.

Sharing The Love

It's a beautiful sunny day in The Bronx. Even my cat, Mabel is sitting next to the window to get some sun. It's still cold. The High is 23 degrees. C'est la vie.

I have been late of sharing the love on blog awards I have gotten. So this time I'm sending two blog awards. I got the LUV blog award from the creative designer Maritessb.Thank you, Maritessb. Of course, there are rules for the award and here they are:


1. Put the logo on your blog or post. (You can highlight the photo and text of this post and copy/paste wherever you need to...start your highlight from the bottom up to get the photo)

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show GREAT ATTITUDE and/or GRATITUDE

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received the award.

Who gave me the this LUV award: Maritessb

Now, here is my list of LUV-LY blogs:

Before I give The LUV award. I'm going to break the rules a little bit here. (As I always do.)


I'm also passing on this wonderful award called the Blogging Brings Us Closer award which I got from Kathryn and Lisa


To translate the gift from Portuguese to English, it means: "This blog invests and believes, the proximity" [meaning, that blogging makes us "close" - being close through proxy].

These both go to the following eight. I know I'm probably forgetting some people. If I have, I will get you the next time around. I give these awards in love and friendship. If you already have one of these awards already then you can just take one. You can follow your own rules with awarding them to others.

Vanessa of A Fanciful Twist
Jennlui of A Trinket Treasure
Lauren of ButtonWillowCottage
Suzie of Chez Sacred Suzie
Caroline of The Zen In You
Maithri of Soaring Impulse
Lisa of Celebrate Creativity in all Forms
Hanna of IHanna's Creative Space

I also wanted to share a cool on-line magazine for those who may be into the Victorian era. They have great articles on the time period with clothes, lifestyle, gardening, etc. It's called Victoriana Magazine

I think that's all for now. Wow, this was a long and involved post. I'll be back tomorrow. Sweet dreams to you all.

Pride and Happiness

Since I was little, my mom taught me to be proud of being Black. Though some will judge me by the color of my skin, that I shouldn't allow it to stop me from achieving my dreams. People question where Barack got his confidence from. I like to think when he was little boy perhaps his mother, though she was white, taught him to be proud of being Black too. That he could achieve anything he put his mind to.

Today, the world watched as America celebrates our first African American President. I am proud of this day and how far my country has come. I feel President Obama shows how faith in yourself can propel you lightyears ahead of what the world thinks you can do.

"Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage."- President Barack Obama.

Let this wonderful day move us forward as a people, as a nation and sisters and brothers of the world. Whatever your dream of your life, do it. Don't listen to the cynics or this can't be done people of the world. We need more people of courage, hope, determination, strength and love to step up. Your life may be the one to inspire hundreds, thousands or millions of people. You won't know that unless you live your life the way you are meant to do. Use the gifts bestowed upon you by your creator for the good of yourself, your family and your world.

Sweet dreams to you all.

Martin and Mantra Monday

Happy MLK Jr. day. Martin's birthday celebrated today is especially deep for me with Barack's swearing in as President tomorrow. Of course, we all know about Martin Luther King Jr's famous speech I Have A Dream and The March on Washington. What a lot of people don't know, is the idea of The March originated in 1941 from A. Philip Randolph. A.Philip,who was the founder of The Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters, wanted to unite Black workers to protest low paying jobs in factories all over the country. What halted the March is President Roosevelt who signed an order to stop discrimination in defense factories in the US.

In 1963, Martin along with many others picked up where A. Philip left off. I think what this piece of history says to me is two things: a community united can do so much; also, it takes the courage of one person to rise up and lead the way.

One person can make a difference, never forget that! Wherever you are reading this, know you can be the one to change things where you are. Yes, I mean you. At first, you might be stepping out alone, before you know it there is a whole community of like minded people right beside you.

Speaking of leading wonderful change, I've joined Jennlui's Mantra Monday movement. Here is my Mantra for this week. The artwork is all mine and wabi sabi wonderful. Check out her blog to see all the other cool participants.




Sweet dreams to you all.

Things to do on a Wintry day

It's in the teen digits in The Bronx! It's so cold, I looked out my window and saw Polar Bears and Penguins waving to me. I had all these great plans for the today. Alas, even this Winter baby said I'm staying in today. I know Winter can be a challenging season for a lot of people. Here is my list of things to do on a wintry day.


1) Sit somewhere to get sunlight.

2) Pick up a long discarded project to finish: half knitted sweater, a neglected painting, editing a short story you wrote, etc.

3) Write a dream list of things you want to do before a certain age or year: places you want to go, things you want to see, etc

4) Baking cakes, breads, pastries or whatever else you want to bake always makes your place toasty warm and smells good.

5) Watch your DVD's of your favorite tv series: do four episodes in a row; or, watch a DVD of your favorite movie you haven't seen in ages.

6) Listen to music. Just listen without doing anything else! Let yourself be taken away.

7) Go through some of your old magazines. Keep your favorite issues and give away the rest via Freecyle.

8) Get a book and curl up to read with hot chocolate or apple cinnamon tea (I love this tea)

9) Now, you share with me a tip to do a Wintry day. I love to hear them.

Sweet dreams to you all.

Dream Thought # 8

FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD -Terence, Roman playwright.

Ricardo and Snow

My sweetheart Ricardo Montalban passed yesterday. Goodbye my friend. If you want to read my thoughts on Ricardo go here for his birthday tribute that I wrote. Another light is gone.. That is the way of things. We still have him in all his movies and television shows that he has left for us.

It is snowy day here. I have errands to do, so I must go out. This Winter baby can deal with the snow and the cold. (Up to a point.) Right now it's 15 degrees. I live right by a river which means it feels like 5 degrees. That's a bit to cold for even me;yet, I still love Winter.

I did my word of the year which I have in my blog title: ADVENTURE. I didn't have a theme song for the year. I watched Harold and Maude for the first time. I love this movie. I found my theme song for 2009 from the movie sung by Cat Stevens. Click and listen. I finally figured out how to link a video this way. (Only took me 11 months) We must celebrate the small victories. Now do what the song says, just be who you want to be. It's all up to you.

Stay warm everyone who is in frigid weather. If you are somewhere warm, then enjoy the sun. Sweet dreams to you all.

A Long Post on Wednesday

I have been a busy bee these two days doing acting business. I got my headshots retouched and copied. Can you tell the difference between the two?

I can tell right away. The magic of retouching. When you see pictures of your favorite stars, singers, etc in magazines. You say oh how perfect and beautiful they look. Seriously, half of that is the magic of retouching. Don't believe the hype. I got this picture and my other girl next door picture done. I'm happy about my headshots: anticipating to get more calls for work. One of my goals this year is to get a role on Law& Order: Special Victim Unit. It is my favorite of the three Law and Order shows. I auditioned for the casting director of the show last year but didn't get a role. This year I'll get cast in a speaking role on SVU.

Freecycle is the best. I got a book of Emily Dickinson's poetry through a posting of mine. It's been a long time since I read her. Her poetry is beautiful, passionate and economical. I adore how Emily uses a few words to say volumes. For poets of the past, I still want books of poetry on Sappho, H.D. and Keats. I know you can get their work on-line. I love having the feel of actual books in my hands.

I got tagged again this time by Sarah. First before I do my random list. I want to share the lovely dolls she made and sent from England to me. Thank you, Sarah. My pictures really don't do her dolls justice.


I still have yet to name my new friends. Now to random six things about me. This time I'm not tagging anyone since I did it last week. If you want to play along with me, please do.

1) I auditioned for The High School of Performing Arts in New York which the movie Fame is based on. I didn't get in. Ouch, It did blow my confidence. I didn't let it deter me from being an Actor as you can see.

2) I adore the painting Starry Night by Van Gogh. The pictures and posters of it don't do it justice. The first time I saw it at Museum of The Modern Art, I was entranced. I sat there staring at it for ten minutes.

3) I love Peanut Brittle!! The good thick kind.

4) My new favorite movie is Harold and Maude which I saw the first time on Sunday.

5) I love to hug Trees. Seriously.

6) I share the same birthday of the character Dean Winchester on Supernatural.

Snow Moon and Wishes

Happy Full Moon everyone! Thank you one and all for the love on my audiopost of me reading Emily Dickinson and Nikki Giovanni. There will be more to come. My friend, Anakin gifted me with a microphone so now I can record directly on my computer. Yipee!! I already have a request to read some Jack Kerouac. Awesome, Molly. Please continue to send me any requests for Poetry or favorite chapters from Novels you like read. I have been toying with the idea of reading some passages from one of my favorite books: Jane Eyre.

I also want to share some cool happenings in blogland or should I call it blogwonderland. Jamie is leading a book blogging group on the wonderful book: 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McMeekin. Also, Goddess Leonie is offering a Creative Goddess e-course & circle. These are two ways to get your creative juices stirring for the start of the year.

On a personal note, I have my first full week in January turn out great. Wishes has been in the air for me for two weeks now. It has been the central theme in books I have been reading and movies I have been watching. Vanessa just had a wonderful post about wishes. One of my private wishes was for a long lost friend and I to reconnect. As 2008 ended, it seemed dim. I still hoped.

I got a call on Thursday, my favorite day of the week, from my long lost friend. To hear his voice and for us to talk again just made my day. I call him Neo. My Neo can't outrun agents or dodge bullets. He made me believe that I can fly when my own wings were fragile. He gives me tough love when I need it and tenderness when I'm down. He is my haven and my dear friend. I'm very happy to have him back in my life.

On this beautiful Snowy Full Moon, make a wish for something truly special to you. Then let it go. In time it will come to pass, just when you least expect it. Have a beautiful weekend. Sweet dreams to you all.

Emily and Nikki

Happy Thursday everyone. I'm back with another audiopost with me reading the poetry of Emily Dickinson and Nikki Giovanni. Here you can check out the texts of the poems here: Because I could Not Stop for Death, A Summer Love Poem and Wild Nights. The audio is very wabi sabi. I record from my mp3 player. I'm looking into getting a microphone so the sound can be cleaner. I hope you all enjoy.

P.S. This video is an updated version of the original one I lost. (3/4/09)

Monday

I just finished watching a really good movie called Persepolis. It came out in 2007 and was nominated for an Oscar for best animated feature. It's the story of young Iranian girl growing up in the late 70's and 80's in Iran. It a really wonderful film. Then last Tuesday, I saw Doubt. A whole slew of films are released at the end of the year that are touted to be the best film of the year. Doubt is one of the best I've seen in 2008. The story alone makes you think and wonder long after the film is done. The acting. Oh my gosh, Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Viola Davis. They just knock it out the box. Seriously, Meryl and Viola should get some kind of nomination around Oscar time. I'll be mad if they don't. They are really that good.



On to some fun!! I got tagged by my favorite Mermaid : Carmen. Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Being the typical Aquarian I am, I am going to break some of the rules. I will choose four. If you don't want to play. It's totally cool. I know some people don't like to be tagged. This is off the top of my head. If you want to join in even if I haven't tagged you, please do. The more, the merrier.

Suzie
Ms.Bliss
Lisa of Groggyfroggy
Molly of Herspeak

Here is random things about Shell:

1) When I was a little girl, I use to pull my bedroom sheets and blankets up to my neck when I slept so the vampires couldn't get me. (I watched way too many horror movies as a kid with my mom)

2) I love reading graphic novels and Mangas (japanese comics)

3) I use to put gel in the colors pink and burgundy in my hair

4) I can only snap my fingers on one hand.

5) I would stare at objects in the living room trying to move them with my mind. (Yes I watched too much Star Wars, as well.)

6) My favorite pair of shoes is my well worn brown Moccasin boots. (I need to buy some new ones soon.)

Your lists

It is the third day of January. Have you made your lists of what your goals are for 2009? Now making lists are wonderful, heck even Santa uses a list. Writing a list then putting it somewhere to collect dust is a no-no. I'm making it my daily thing to look at my list every day. Why? Keep it in my mind this is where I want to head for. These goals are my North Star, Avalon, Timbuktu. These goals, these dreams is where I want to be.

For example, yesterday I got my credit card bill. Just looking at my statement got me all upset. I know what my finances are, seeing it in print can be too much sometimes. I could feel myself starting to get upset and even cry. I got a hold of my thoughts. I calmed myself down and I reached for my list. I said this bill is a reality now. That doesn't mean that this will always be. My list of goals this is the reality I want to manifest. This is where my heart lies. What could of have been a major crisis of woe-is-me passed.

Your New Year's lists are important. Don't ignore them. Look at your lists daily and make steps to make them manifest. Only you can make 2009 your best year ever.

Sweet Dreaming to you all.

Happy New Year!

Wow, so it's a brand New Year. 2009. Are you all excited or inspired? I am. We can't even imagine at this moment all the adventures we are going to go on this year. It is a big year for me because I'll be entering a new decade!! I'll be 40 in 4 weeks. In the past six months, I have a felt a new sense of courage and strength. I closed 2008 by tying up loose ends in two very important personal relationships to me. In doing this, I feel like I have opened space for other adventures in my life. 2009 is all about my own sense of happiness and freedom.

My word for the year is ADVENTURE.

I am going to be like these beautiful horses. Run free and go on as many adventures as I can. These adventures don't have to be all about going somewhere. Sometimes the greatest adventure is being in touch with all that makes us unique within and letting it all out.